Thursday, September 30, 2010

Three Simple Rules for Being an Author

I've never offered any advice to aspiring writers mainly because no one has ever asked me for any advice about writing. But if they had, there are only about three things I'd be willing to tell them. The things I wouldn't be willing to tell other writers (or even the public, for that matter) is where I get my ideas from, how I develop my characters, how I choose my themes, what writers influenced me, etc., etc.

Those are just about the stupidest questions anyone could ever ask a writer and, because they're such stupid questions, they're so damn popular. Questions like these are why I don't socialize on writer networks. Giving up your trade secrets to others so they can steal them and use them to compete with you, or to discredit you in some way, is even more stupid a thing than being asked to.

I never read enough science fiction for any science fiction writer to interest me, anyway. I don't write traditional genre sci-fi and I never ran across any writer that made me want to emulate his or her work. The only sci-fi I ever really liked were the goofy but highly creative B-movies from the 1950s. Since the 1990s, horror and fantasy have been sold to a stupid, gullible public as science fiction and no one seemed to care. I've only read a handful of science fiction novels in my entire life and I thought they were all pretty bad. Boring, preposterous to the point of being laughable and tedious to read. Besides, I've always been a creative person and have never been much of a follower. Mimicking, copying and emulating are strange brews that have never been my cup of tea.

So, getting on to the three simple rules for being an author, my number one advice to aspiring authors is this:

"Don't feel obligated to help other people write a book."

That's their job. And they damn well know it.

The second thing I'd be willing to tell aspiring writers is even more important. I'd tell them to leave their families, friends, neighbors, townsfolk and local area because, of all the people and places in the world, your roots are where you stand the least chance of being recognized for your writing ability and literary achievements. That's right, leave your hometown and never move back, especially if you want, as Rodney Dangerfield put it, "a little respect". People who know you won't give you any respect for being an author because they can't see past the labels they gave you. Forget them like a bad memory and move on. The real world lies beyond your hometown city limits.

I'd tell people who want to be authors to stop looking over their shoulders for support and encouragement from their relatives, friends, neighbors and co-workers because, in most cases, those people would rather drop dead than make you feel good about yourself or what you've done with your life. The only person in the entire universe that you have to prove anything to is yourself. As a writer, you are the most important reason for writing. So, follow this simple rule of thumb and the rest of your writing career will fall into place.

"Leave home and don't look back."

And, if I was still giving out free advice to new writers and writer wannabes (and they were somehow still listening), my third piece of advice (and the most important rule of all) is also the simplest rule to follow. My third piece of advice about being a writer is this:

"Go fishing instead."

I've been saying that for years.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I was there and now I'm here.

Aging science fiction authors like me really don't need nine blogs to write. Not if they still want to keep writing science fiction novels. But here I am with yet another blog. Now, before you start making little tsking sounds of disapproval, let me explain.

Yesterday, Windows Live alerted me to the fact that my blog A Portrait of the Author as an Old Man would have to be transferred to WordPress or else deleted and that time was running out. So, naturally, I let them transfer it to WordPress. Then I found out that about half the old posts made no sense because they mentioned Science Fiction for Thinkers...at Windows Live, my Windows Live Space, which was no longer available. The only thing left at Windows Live was my profile and two photo albums and they looked pathetic and exiled without a blog to anchor them. So, I deleted them. Now I have nothing at Windows Live except an account I can't get rid of.

Then I discovered that blogging at WordPress was far too difficult and confusing for an old fart like me. So I deleted this blog there and started it all over again from scratch at Blogger because I forgot to save the old postings in a word document on my computer. Then I discovered that I couldn't delete my unwanted WordPress account, either. Hmmm. There ought to be a law.

Later, people, when I have something interesting to write about.